Going out of Business sale!

I regret to inform you that Verizon wireless is not longer able to financially support itself. It Is just a matter of time before you will hear it on the news and scramble for a replacement service.

How do I know this? Because my $218 was the only way they were going to be able to keep the lights on. It was so fucking important that they get this $218 in order to make payroll. Like $218 was the payment necessary to file for chapter 11.

Yes, I missed my payment. I forgot to send my check in to arrive in time to make the 9/13/2017 due date. Shit happens, life gets in the way and OCCASSIONALLY everyone misses a payment. I just fucking forgot! Simple as that.

Unfortunately, due to the enormous financial troubles from this fortune 500 company, this skip was causing a life and death situation. They sent me 3 emails, 5 text messages and called multiple times in a row for several days. The call was a recording so I didn’t listen to it….until the 4th call when I held for financial services…and stepped outside; This might get heated.

I asked her to please take a look at my 20+ years of payment history. I asked her to look at the payment date and tell me what the fucking emergency was. 21 fucking days overdue and you are threatening to shut off my service if I didn’t have payment to you in 24 hours? Who do you think you are? The only option for cell service?

I told her I would send a check IMMEDIATELY. I asked her if they needed me to send it overnight so they can have their money ASAP. She told me regular mail was fine, and I told her to note the account that the check was coming. When she recapped the notes, verbally as she was putting them on my account …”will be mailing the $218….”

OH HELL NO! STOP RIGHT THERE! I am going to send in the total amount due. September and October. There was no way I was going to expose myself to this kind of harassment over 21 days! If Verizon wireless as a whole is not able to sustain a business model because of a missing $218 then I wanted to make sure to send them a little in advance!! I told her to please put the notes in all caps that help is on its way!

When I got back to my desk I had another email and text message, thanking me for my commitment to send the funds. I replied, “you are so fucking welcome”. This morning I got an email and a text message, reminding me that I had made a payment commitment and let them know if I will not be able to make good on it.

So I sat down and wrote the damn check. I took a page of the bill and wrote in a huge blue sharpie that 21 days did not warrant this kind of harassment. I taped the check to it and folded it up. Then I took the payment coupon thingy and wrote a message to the person who was going to open it that I hoped that their last paycheck didn’t bounce; and stapled it to the other note inside. On the outside of the envelope I wrote the announcement that VZW was closing and taped it shut; along with the address window….I taped that to the payment coupon too.

I will only be late again, if they are not able to figure out my payment puzzle.

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