Me!

I have the attention span of a fruit fly.  I require a lot of interaction; Therefore I have surrounded myself with people who understand that.  Unfortunately there are a few who haven’t picked up on it; despite the number of years we have been connected.

I absolutely HATE the single word/emoticon texts/replies.  I know I am funny.  What I said was funny.  The goal was to make you laugh. So just replying with and “LOL” or “Ha Ha” is a letdown.

If you send me a picture of your food, trying to make me jealous as I enjoy a grilled cheese at home, I would reply that I hope that the carbs go right to your hips or give you the runs….and THEN Ha Ha.

If you send me a note letting me know you saw something that reminded you of a funny memory, I am going to top that memory and make you laugh even harder.

If you send me a dick pic, I will send you a pat on the back for the courage, but let you know I have seen better.

As a result, I require the same. Below is a list of banned text/IM replies:

Giggle,  LOL, HaHa, Right? , IKR?,  🙂 ,K, yes, no, and basically any single word.

After you read my message, if all you do is LOL, then you need to make some shit up**! Below some examples of approved replies:

“LOL!  I know, I saw it too and was wondering WTF she was thinking.  #momjeans”

“IKR? Just one of the many reasons I don’t eat kale anymore.”

“No. You look like you have lost 10 LBS”

I guess I will know if any of the offenders got the message, by our next exchange.

** This also applies to conversations where you may not want to share the entire story with me.  If I ask you what took so long and you say “I forgot something” and leave it at that.  I can GUARANTEE you I will begin the peppering of embarrassing questions…even if we are in public.  “What? your vibrator?”.  It is best to just make something up  (Love you Netty)

 

 

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