I like it :)

To my horror I woke up to a text message from the boss man, wanting me to find a venue for him. On a Saturday… in DECEMBER!!!
W
T
F
?!?
Are you kidding me? Who starts their searching now? It is O-C-T-O-B-E-R!!! I mean at this point you are fucked if you don’t have a costume OR a place for your holiday party.

I have planned some great family birthday parties, always have a large group for my birthday festivities and have worked as the event coordinator for some local companies. I love parties!!! Not only have I been doing it for a while, I have been doing it in this area. I know that you need to get it on the books by February…if you want something that has power, heat and parking.

To further limit the already limited number of options, he added the rest of his criteria’s:
The 14th
7-11pm
100-125 guests
Allows outside catering
Option for a DJ

Okay so NO Hotels, NO Restaurants or MOST funky venues on the eastside. I looked at our surrounding city but found the same limitations with size and date. UGH! Basically I am screwed :/ Watch this be a case of me eliminating venues based on what he asked me to find and he comes up with a place….on a different date….fully catered and every other exact opposite of his original request.

ANY HOO! I found a site and just had to rave about it being exactly what I would do…if I had a popular rental venue. It is a hip, open studio with an outdoor patio overlooking the skyline. In each of the drop downs it referenced the FAQ’s tab as the best place for information about the venue…and encourage you to check it out before you submitted your request.

True to their word, it answered all of my questions. The only thing that I was not able to find out was their availability. They happened to address this very subject as something you can only get by submitting the request form. So I did just that.

At the bottom of the form it asks for you to check a box to verify that you have in fact visited the FAQ’s page. Because…get this…..if it was already answered there…..they would not respond to your questions.

Hahahahah Someone is serious about their FAQ’s

How to make a repair appointment…NOT

I was asked to call the local Lexus dealer and reschedule an appointment for the boss man.

Looked up the phone number on line and dial the service department. Maria gave me the longest, breathiest, highest pitched greeting and asked where she could transfer my call. “I would like to speak to someone regarding an existing service appointment for today.” And off I was sent.

It rang a few hundred times, as I expected for a busy shop like this. It wasn’t shocking at all for the ringing to stop, hear music, pause and more ringing. Being a receptionist in my past life, this was the necessary game of parking calls. 😊 Shortly after the second round of ringing, I was told this call could be recorded and Colleen joined the call. I started by letting her know my name, who I was calling for and what I was looking to accomplish. It went something like this

“Hi Colleen. My name is Veronica. Bod Doberino has an appointment at 10:30 today for service that he has asked me to cancel and reschedule for Saturday. I was hoping to find out what his availability options were for Saturday.” Unfortunately, we had a slight connection issue and she didn’t quite get that. So I stepped away from my desk in order to raise my voice. “Oh That’s much better” Colleen Says…

Me: Great! Good Morning! *mutual professional giggles* My name is Veronica. Bod Doberino has an appointment at 10:30 today for service that he has asked me to cancel and reschedule for Saturday. Wondering if there are any openings?
Colleen: Okay. Let me check. Your first name?
Me: gave it to her
Colleen: Your last name?
Me: Gave it to her
Colleen: and the best number to call and confirm?
Me: I don’t need a confirmation. Bob has an appointment that he is no longer able to make so he asked me to cancel. He is available on Saturday so I wanted to know his options.
Colleen: Oh I am sorry. I didn’t understand that it was not an appointment for you. Okay…. What is his name?
Me: I gave it to her
Colleen: And would you like them to call you or Bob.
Me: No one needs a call back. I am calling on behalf of Bob. So essentially I am just a relay service, acting on his behalf….. Pretend I am Bob. I am not able to make my appointment. That appointment needs to be cancelled. I would like to bring my car in on Saturday, what are my options.
Colleen: Oh I am sorry. I didn’t understand that you are a relay service.
Me: I am not a service! I am human. I work for Bob…and bob asked me to call you. I dialed the number on the website for service and I honestly do not know what is happening. I just want to cancel the appointment Bob has today at 10:30 am. He is not coming. You will not see Bob today…. or the car. But Bob needs to come in on Saturday. He wanted me to call you , at this number and make an appointment for him for Saturday. Am I able to do that? With you Colleen…now? On the phone?
Colleen: Oh I am sorry. I am the concierge. I take the messages and pass it on to the service department. They will have to call you back.

My boss texted me asking if I took care of it. I replied… I honestly don’t know.

I am so over this…..

I reached out for help with an action item I had never processed before. Unfortunately, my counterpart wasn’t able to help me. Apparently this was a system, that you cannot even look at incorrectly; or you will take down the entire company. She struggles with it herself so, as the senior member of our team; she reached out to the help desk and asked them to set up a training. There were other newbies, so we would all benefit. This was on April 4th.

May 14th – when the work was piling up, our fearless leader reached out to the “trainers” again. She was much nicer to them than I would have been…but the training got set up for May 22nd at 7pm. At 7:18pm I ended the conference call, for which I was the only one on. I reached out to HR and let him know, and got a nasty gram bout not assuming, just because they weren’t’ on the call; that they aren’t working on the situation.

The “training” was rescheduled for May 28th at 8pm. I successfully logged into the conference call on-time but wasn’t able to hear anything. I logged into my email and saw there had been a flurry of emails just prior to the call, and a replacement link had been sent; for a different conference system. 10 minutes into a 30 minute “training” I could hear and see everything…. but I wasn’t able to log into the program we were working in. Five minutes later it was discovered that I didn’t have the necessary approvals, to access the program. UGH I hung around for the remaining 15 minutes of talking over each other and system errors but I wouldn’t call it training.

My HR contact and I stayed on the line and discussed what just happened. We agreed that we were not prepared for the call and boy, did we have some work to do. He was going to make some calls and let me know what the plan of attack was going to be in a few days. A week later I reached out for an update, to which I got the usual snotty message about having it all covered and if there is something I need to know they will share it.

So as you can imagine, I found it odd that on June 24th they were asking about my availability for another training attempt. I still don’t have the necessary credentials, someone has been taking care of it just fine for the last month and no one has updated me that there was a change in the plan. You guessed it… Like a damn child, I was simply told YOURE GOING!

Attempt #2 – We all provided our availability and the date was scheduled, but when the calendar invitation was sent; someone remembered their pending vacation.

Attempt #3 – We all provided our availability again, and the date was set. At 4:32 pm the DAY OF a 7pm training… the IT department rescheduled it. For whatever reason, they didn’t ask for availabilities and; and they chose a date when I wasn’t available. They asked if the day before would be better, I responded that no it would not; and they scheduled it any way. I reached out to the team and recapped our recent email exchanged, and asked them what the hell they were thinking. Apologies were exchanged and the meeting was rescheduled AGAIN.

Attempt #4 – The meeting invitation was SENT for Monday, July 29th at 7pm. The meeting invitation SAID “Tuesday, July 30th at 7pm”. When I saw the discrepancy, I reached out to the other team members on the invitation. Hmmmmmm not a single member of my team responded. Great team hu? I also reached out to the meeting owner and HR contact…..no response. Clearly I had no reason to stick around the office, so I declined the meeting invitation. Turns out no one showed up for the call…..NO SHIT! No one knew when it was!!!!!!
Attempt #5 – more apologies and a reschedule. This time it was for the morning. WOW! What a treat 😊

This morning I logged into the meeting, using a THIRD conference system and was greeted by the meeting organizer. I was also able to log into the system we were working in. Unfortunately, I could not see the screen of the presenter. I spoke up… but this bus was leaving with or without me.

For the next hour, I listed to “when you click here…” “when you see this…” “on the left side you will see….”

It is August 1st. Clearly it isn’t real pressing that I understand this system.

Blinds 101

I have this terrible habit of playing with my hair. I am not sure if it is a full blown case of Trichotillomania, but close. I don’t know what to tell ya….It’s calming. My family makes fun of me, my husband takes and holds my hand if he notices it and I have tried to resist the urge…I really have. It’s HARD!

You know the saying “Idle hands are the devils playground”? For me it’s “When there’s nothing to do…I play with my hair.”

It doesn’t help that I am always doing something different with my hair. I curl it and twirl the curls throughout the day. I straighten it, then play with the lower layer that was still a bit wavy. Lately I have been putting mousse in and letting it air dry, then run my fingers through the beach waves.

I have caught myself doing it at work lately. I will be reviewing a long expense report…and my right hand makes it to the follicles in a sneak attack. During a long call, presentation or when the litigants in the case before Judge Judy are so ridiculous I have to watch while listening. (Some of those people are CRAY-ZEE!) I will start twirling. I do stop…you know when there is a task that requires two hands; like typing, changing tabs or basically anything else 😊 I often stop myself and think…OMG! Hope no one was looking. But I know they see me. I wonder what they are thinking………

Fast forward to today. The sun came out and it was more than our team of vampire millennia’s could bear. They are not used to that bright orb in the sky, because they rarely look up from their phone/game system/TV or PC. Our oldest summer intern, who has the window seat; was looked to for resolution. Once he realized this wasn’t something a help desk ticket would cure, he stood up and dealt with it head on. For the next…NO JOKE…3 or 4 minutes he tugged on the string and it lowering by a centimeter each time. Tug…lower a little…tug….lower a little….tug…lower a little. Not to the left or to the right…..just repeated yanking in the downward direction. I was like watching a zombie try to open a door.

So that answers that….I am definitely the subject of someone’s blog

For anyone with high school students…..consider this a college prep course:

https://www.hunker.com/13413739/how-to-use-window-blinds

What is the most ridiculous thing you have seen a highly educated person do? Or what life class should universities adopt to assist our millennial population? dazeof40Something@gmail.com

Private Pooper

I work in an office building which has bathrooms of all three floors. Or….there are bathrooms are the first and second floor; and a hidden gem in the basement.

As with most office buildings, there are multiple stalls in the rest room and they are rarely ever full. When you have other business, which requires a bit more privacy, that is what the upstairs is for. The facilities on the second floor, are just about identical; with the exception of a little extra stall at the end of the room. PERFECTO! Problem is EVERYONE in the office knows what the upstairs is for. So basically, if you are caught descending the staircase of shame……anyone who sees you knows you had to poop. No matter how many times you have read the book “Everybody Poops”, no one really wants to have it noticed.

About a month ago, while walking off a stressful situation at work, I found a “locker room” in the basement. The only thing at the end of the staircase is the elevator, a door to the garage/parking lot and both a men’s and woman’s locker rooms. No one had ever mentioned these options….hmmmmmm…..wonder what’s in there. Turns out, two showers, lockers, plenty of counter space and outlets to get ready and ….A TOILET!

Just like the one upstairs, you have to walk right up on it, to know if it is open or not. And because it is so hidden it requires signals, to note occupancy. Today was the first time, I walked in on someone washing their hands after using the loo. There was no turning back, we all knew what I was in here for; so I made a passive comment about it being full upstairs. I locked the door, she left and all was right with the world…..until I heard the door slowly creep open. To protect my identity and announce “NO VACANCY” I flushed. That’s the international signal for GTFOIP (get the eff out…I’m pooping)

What makes this different from the bathrooms on the second floor? Cause when you leave, you step into the elevator; and everyone will just assume you parked in the garage.

Asia Time

I was tasked with connecting the boss man with an executive from a local conglomerate; and looped into a virtual introduction with the dude’s assistant. I replied with the usual niceties, asked for some availability options and committed to making all the necessary arrangements.

Rather than work with me, homies admin simply replied with a single time on a single day that would work for her. Oh! This must be one important individual. Thanks 😊

Since, apparently, we are only able to discuss one date at a time; I replied with my counter offer. I gave her the option of another day…but offered DOUBLE the time options…because I am an overachiever like that. Unfortunately, it was a no go.

Seems her boss, recently received marching orders to travel the week I was hoping to make a connection happen. She shared the details of his travel plans with me and asked if I thought we could set the meeting up in …get this…”Asia time”.

What? I have been a support professional for over 10 years and I have never heard of ASIA time. That’s not to say that I know everything there is to know about Outlook. There is a chance that something has changed and additional features added since last week…..so I googled it.

There are eleven time zones for ASIA….ELEVEN!

I replied to her email, wondering if there is a standard time zone she uses, when booking ASIAN travel for her boss. I got an out of office reply…..

On August FIFTH, her OOO says she will be out from August SEVENTH through the FIFTEENTH…with zero access to email. Wonder why she wasn’t able to answer her emails two days before vacation? Maybe her outlook is set on ASIA time.

Girl Power

I am female. I am a 46-year-old female, with no formal secondary education; that has been a proud member of the workforce since I was 14. I have been gaining experience, finding/applying for positions and supporting myself nicely for the past 32 years. Of course I have been passed up for positions…but that is what will happen every time when IA screens applications, not humans.

I never gained or lost a job because of my boobs.

I was never pass over for a promotion because of my boobs.

I was never promised a role, position or salary in return for an afternoon with my boobs.

…and I have worked for some of the most misogynistic ass hats on the planet.

Please don’t start drafting hate mail in your head, I am aware there is an issue; I just have no experience.

Today, I was drafting a post for our office “Girls Only Club”, and it hit me….there has been a support group created in most of the companies I have worked at since 2013. WOW!

The first one, was part of a team members MBA program. During the kick off, I didn’t really understand the reason it was necessary; but over the next 3-4 meetings it became much clearer. The CFO of our organization spoke about the struggles she had throughout her career. It was sad to listen to what she had experienced, witnessed, and heard. From a firm assuming that she would never return from maternity leave after her first child to the uneducated comments made after she was named the most successful person in finance for our city. I hung on her every word. There was no way I would ever allow this to happen to me.

The rest of the groups have had a significantly smaller impact on me. Wait….let me re-phrase …..I’ve experienced hardly more than a group hug. Seems it has become more of the “in” thing to do, and less something to move us forward.

Some companies simply a host female only lunch on National Women’s day…maybe to show the board members they are progressive. Just your typical corporate dog and pony show. In 2014O, after listening to the guest speaker encourage us to speak up and “stop the line” if necessary; I wrote a long email to the HRBP about questionable practices I had witnessed. Still waiting for his response.

A start up I worked for, kicked off their Women’s Empowerment Council, with an expert who spoke for over an hour about the gender pay gap. While the subject is of the utmost importance…every female walked out of the room, with the look of “why bother” on their faces. … not quite rally that the leadership was looking for. Not shocking…..considering the leadership. Please pray for all of their wives and children!!!!

There was a group at the software conglomerate; I briefly worked for last year. It started prior to me joining so it was just a matter of being added to the group alias. It was less of a female empowering opportunity, and more of like “safety in numbers”. There were so few females in the entire organization, female leaders probably wanted them to make sure they felt good; and they used the time to introduce new female members to the rest. Unfortunately, because of my position a lot of the content was not relevant to me, so I quit attending.

Some companies believe a book club that selects female only author’s counts. Some companies encouraged females to gather once a month and think of ways to make life better. I am sure there are bosses out there who think putting tampons in the unisex bathroom is female empowering.

What are we actually DOING to make a difference??

I think people need to answer that question FIRST. BEFORE they order cupcakes, pink napkins and send the calendar invitation.

We need to NETWORK! We need to write endorsements! Write me at dazeof40something@gmail.com and tell me what your company does. Do you attend?